I rolled into town on Thursday night from a week in the quiet canyons outside Moab, the stillness and serenity that I love about the desert. I came to work (late) Friday morning, and by Friday night, all hell had broken loose inside DoubleShot.

This is the third year for Dfest. It's a music festival that brings in over 100 bands who are trying to get a record deal, and they play outside and inside every establishment at 18th & Boston for two days. Every year I say the same thing: "I'll never do that again." But for some reason, every year I think they'll do a better job. And as distance comes between me and the pain, I forget. It's like riding Porcupine Rim Trail-- I always have in my mind that it is really fun, and then I get out there and it beats the shit out of me. I guess that's fun.

Dfest. First of all, let me say thanks to all the musicians who took the time and effort to come and play in my store. And I'm sure there was considerable time put in by the Dfest organizers to put this thing on. For that, my hat's off to them. Now let's get on to my quibble.

For the third year in a row-- BOOK APPROPRIATE ACTS FOR MY COFFEEHOUSE! This is like an echo chamber. We have concrete floor and ceiling, and a brick wall. It gets loud in here, fast. And it doesn't sound good. And it's annoying and deafening. The only reason we had ANY idea who was playing in our shop or WHEN they were playing, was because we looked at the Dfest website. There is a serious lack of communication. No one from Dfest told us anything. I didn't even know we were supposed to be open until 2a until a couple weeks before. Why not talk to me? Why not give me demos of the people who will play in my store, and let me ok it? Why not book coffeehouse music in the coffeehouse?

So after saying all day that the bands needed to be at a reasonable volume level (i.e. Not too loud), I walked in after the first band had begun, to a deafening 110 decibels of loud. At that volume, the human ear starts to lose its ability to distinguish. It just becomes noise. According to Columbia University, the human ear begins to sustain damage at only 85db. At 120db, the ear actually registers pain. 110db is approximately how loud a car horn is from 3 feet away. Imagine that for 45 minutes. It was so loud that I walked in and yelled in Josh's ear, but he didn't hear what I said.

So I asked them to turn it down. They didn't. I was pissed. And afterward, I told one of the band members. He said they had it turned down as low as it would go. OK.

After that, we had some reasonable people. We determined at that point that 100db was our limit. That's ten times less noise than 110db, and is registered in the ear as half as loud. Still very loud.

According to the National Institute on Deafness (which I may soon be a member), exposure of 110db for more than 1 minute risks permanent hearing loss, and no more than 15 minutes of unprotected exposure of 100db is recommended. It's a good thing Dfest only lasted 12 hours in two days.

Here's the really crappy part. Some band is playing in my business. I ask them to turn it down or to keep it at a particular (measurable) volume level, and they purposely, defiantly play louder. I told them they had two choices: 1) play at or under 100db, or 2) don't play at all. I guess word had gotten around, and some of these musicians are so full of themselves that they feel like they can do anything they want anywhere they want. So a band called Edison Glass went and talked to the Dfest lawyer, who decided he needed to come talk to me. He asked what the problem was. I said there is no problem, as long as they play under 100db. Edison Glass didn't care, they just wanted to play loud. (By the way, I can only assume that they suck if they want to play so loud that we can't hear it.) He said that if it got too loud, we would do what we could. I said if it got too loud, I would pull the plug. He threatened me with a breach of contract suit. I told him they could still play in here, but they couldn't use my electricity. The prick lawyer left, and Edison Glass decided (appropriately) to play at another venue.

So I seriously don't understand why someone can't come in here and be grateful to play in MY BUSINESS, and play at a volume that I request, and say thank you when they are finished. I'm not asking that much. The Dfest organizers NEVER said thank you. They didn't give us any passes. We didn't get a cut of the door. We don't sell beer, so we didn't get that revenue. The street was closed for two days, so my regular customers didn't come in. It was basically just a pain in my ass, and unless something changes in a year, (I know, I say this every year) I'm not doing it again.

I don't get anything out of Dfest. I'm doing them a favor. "Thanks" goes a long way. And treating me like they would if I owned a wine bar or if I were a lawyer with an empty lot across the street; that would go a long way. This is my livelihood.

Anyway, once again, thanks to everyone who came in and supported us by purchasing a drink. Thanks to those musicians who were cooperative and talented and polite. Thanks to Mark from Bose, who did what he could to make the volume right. And thanks to Jason who worked both nights, both mornings, and may have sustained hearing loss (which, I hope is not covered under worker's comp).